In Praise of Kink – The Ethics of Dream

Poems on Gender


Don’t get suckered into becoming 
A puritanical, carrot-up-the-ass, gender fascist 
Sexuality is fucking complicated 
Pain can damage, but it can also heal 
Fantasy can be fun, it can be an adventure, it can be a therapy, it can be an exorcism 
Or it can dig deeper into the wound, rub disease into it, and infect the soul 
What turns you on is not – never should be – a cause for shame 
The question is what you do with it 
Do you harm other people
Do you harm yourself 

I read a story about a faraway tribe
Who had no rules for how to behave
When they were awake 
Instead, they had an ethics of dream 
Every morning at breakfast 
They would talk about the night’s adventures 
What they had done 
What they could have done differently 
They were guided by a few basic principles 
Whenever you meet someone 
You should greet them in a friendly fashion 
But if they attack you, you must fight back 
If somebody kills you in a dream
Don’t wake up 
And be reborn in a stronger form 
And always 
The last thing you do 
No matter what’s happened
When you say goodbye 
Ask them for a gift 

<–– previous poem *****

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